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Post by Lacey on Jan 10, 2019 19:05:41 GMT -5
By the time that Lacey had made it back to Brooklyn, she didn't feel good enough to sell at all. She couldn't really afford to skip a day, but she didn't mind going a day or two without food if that was what it came down to. All that she wanted was to fix things, and yet she only ever seemed to make things worse. She was on the verge of losing Spot, she couldn't help save him from Rip, and she had more than likely made things worse between Brooklyn and Queens. She had succeeded in messing absolutely everything up, and she was miserable.
She had settled for trying to calm herself down in the park, just finding a perch under a tree and sitting there alone. And she cried. She buried her head into her knees and cried uncontrollably.
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Post by Raccoon on Jan 10, 2019 19:17:30 GMT -5
Raccoon was back in Brooklyn. She had grown quite fond of the borough. There had been plenty of work to do! She had been able to clean several chimneys that morning and had even been able to sell a few papers before heading for a nice walk in the park. She hadn't gotten far when she heard the saddest sound: someone crying. She wasn't one to pry, but she was awfully curious about why someone would be crying on such a lovely day.
She quietly made her way towards the sound and was surprised to see a girl around her age sitting under a tree, crying. She wasn't sure what to do. She was still relatively new to Brooklyn and didn't know many of the girls. For now, maybe some company wouldn't be so bad for this girl?
Raccoon cleared her throat, though it wouldn't do much good. She had quite the raspy, boyish voice thanks to all her work in the smoky chimneys of New York. "Um... mind if I sit here?
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Post by Lacey on Jan 10, 2019 19:19:37 GMT -5
"Um... mind if I sit here?"
Lacey nearly jumped at the sound of a voice, only then raising her head from her knees to look up at the unfamiliar female in front of her. She nearly snapped at the girl to go away and leave her alone, but she really didn't want to be alone. Not right then.
Nodding with her head towards the place beside her, Lacey made no move to speak, instead, wiping her eyes with her sleeve and sniffling a bit.
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Post by Raccoon on Jan 10, 2019 19:28:50 GMT -5
Raccoon took a seat beside Lacey, careful not to touch or bump the other girl. Her clothes were still a little sooty. Her hands, thankfully, were clean. No one would want a sooty paper after all.
"Nice day, ain't it?" she commented, breaking the silence.
Maybe she could help the girl out by focusing on other things. It was a nice winter day, after all. You could sense that spring was near.
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Post by Lacey on Jan 10, 2019 19:30:35 GMT -5
"Nice day, ain't it?"
The bit of positivity caught Lacey a bit off guard, her eyes shifting towards the girl beside her. She looked friendly enough, but after her most recent encounter with a stranger, she was a bit wary to try talking to another one.
"Yeah, I suppose." She mumbled, slowly uncurling her legs from her chest.
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Post by Raccoon on Jan 10, 2019 19:39:06 GMT -5
"Yeah, I suppose."
It was a response. Not a very encouraging one, but a response nonetheless. She smiled. "Makes you long for spring, huh?"
Raccoon stretched out a bit. "Days like this are rare. It's good ta have some warmth while it's still winter."
She certainly would know. Her jacket really wasn't much of a jacket anymore.
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Post by Lacey on Jan 10, 2019 19:41:28 GMT -5
"Makes you long for spring, huh?"
Among other things. It was hard, feeling so incredibly hopeless in a situation like that. She knew that giving Spot time was the best thing to do, but did he have time now that she had gone to Queens? Or had she messed that up too?
"Days like this are rare. It's good ta have some warmth while it's still winter."
Lacey nodded a bit. "Yeah... warmth."
She was more than likely being rude, and she did feel bad about that. She just didn't know what to do in terms of how to get through things like this. What could she do? What could she say?
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Post by Raccoon on Jan 10, 2019 19:48:18 GMT -5
"Yeah.. warmth."
Raccoon glanced at the girl beside her. She might not know what was going on, but she could tell the girl was not in the mood for small talk. Whatever had happened was still upsetting her. But what could she do to help?
She pursed her lips. "I don't think I caught your name?" She offered her hand to Lacey. "I'm Raccoon."
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Post by Lacey on Jan 10, 2019 19:49:53 GMT -5
"I don't think I caught your name?"
Lacey swallowed thickly. This conversation was apparently going to be drawn out after all.
"I'm Raccoon."
Slowly taking her hand, Lacey gave it a shake. "Lacey." She cleared her throat. "You ain't from Brooklyn, are ya?"
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Post by Raccoon on Jan 10, 2019 19:53:19 GMT -5
"Lacey."
Raccoon smiled. "Nice ta meet ya."
"You ain't from Brooklyn, are ya?"
She nodded in reply. "Mmhmm. But I like it here. I get alot of work so I might stay here at least until spring comes."
Once spring comes, there wouldn't be much chimney cleaning to do. She'd have to find other things to do.
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Post by Lacey on Jan 10, 2019 19:54:32 GMT -5
"Nice ta meet ya."
Lacey raised an eyebrow a bit, but didn't reply.
"Mmhmm. But I like it here. I get alot of work so I might stay here at least until spring comes."
She nodded slowly. She seemed to be one of those borough hoppers, the drifters who never really settled down for long. "It's nice here."
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Post by Raccoon on Jan 10, 2019 20:05:42 GMT -5
"It's nice here."
Raccoon nodded again. "It really is. But I hafta follow where there's work." She leaned back against the tree. "I ain't much of a newsie," she admitted.
She sold, but she didn't sell well. She spent too much time reading the paper instead of selling.
"I'm guessin' you probably live here, huh?"
Raccoon wasn't positive, but she was pretty sure she had seen Lacey at the lodge several times and once at the distribution center.
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Post by Lacey on Jan 10, 2019 20:07:32 GMT -5
"It really is. But I hafta follow where there's work."
Lacey frowned a bit. What did she mean? Did that mean that she wasn't a newsie?
"I ain't much of a newsie,"
She nodded slowly, though her brows furrowed a bit in confusion. "What do ya do then?"
"I'm guessin' you probably live here, huh?"
Lacey's face dropped a bit. "Yeah... I think it might be about time for me ta move on, though. Things ain't so good here."
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Post by Raccoon on Jan 10, 2019 20:17:59 GMT -5
"What do ya do then?"
Raccoon laughed softly and gestured to her sooty clothes. "I'm a chimney sweep. Clean chimneys in the fall and winter months. During the spring and summer, well I do whatever I can."
"Yeah... I think it might be about time for me ta move on, though. Things ain't so good here."
She cocked her head to the side. "It ain't? Seemed pretty nice ta me." She shrugged. "But when you feel the need ta move, you just got ta."
She understood that feeling well. Sometimes you just couldn't stay.
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Post by Lacey on Jan 10, 2019 20:21:54 GMT -5
"I'm a chimney sweep. Clean chimneys in the fall and winter months. During the spring and summer, well I do whatever I can."
Lacey nodded slowly. She knew that people had to do it, but she had never met anyone who did... much less a girl her age who did.
"It ain't? Seemed pretty nice ta me."
"It was," She mumbled, "Until I messed everythin' up. It ain't lookin' too good anymore. I don't wanna make things worse."
Lacey felt as though now she was the reason for everything that was bound to come, and death that could easily occur. She just couldn't deal with that. She didn't know what else to do but to run away and hope that somehow it would help. Her brothers would learn to live without her... Spot would be happier, too.
"But when you feel the need ta move, you just got ta."
A couple of tears fell from her eyes once again, and she averted her eyes from Raccoon in favor of quickly wiping them away. "I ruin everything with the people I care about... I don't know what else ta do but leave. But right now... I couldn't even say goodbye."
As much as Lacey wanted to just leave and have things get better that way, she didn't want to just vanish on Spot without explaining that she was sorry and that she had made mistakes.
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Post by Raccoon on Jan 10, 2019 20:28:32 GMT -5
"It was. Until I messed everythin' up. It ain't lookin' too good anymore. I don't wanna make things worse."
Raccoon couldn't help it. Lacey's words made her awfully curious. "Messed everythin' up? I dunno... but how can just one person mess the whole borough up?"
She said it kindly, a way to sort of cheer Lacey up. Whatever had happened couldn't be all Lacey's fault. She couldn't mess up Brooklyn on her own. It took more than one person to shake up a borough.
"I ruin everything with the people I care about... I don't know what else ta do but leave. But right now... I couldn't even say goodbye."
She pursed her lips. Now this wasn't something she could really give any advice about, but she gave what advice she could. "I don't know about ruinin' things for people you care about. I mean, we all make mistakes don't we? Sooner or later we might make bad decisions that might harm others, I don't know about ruinin' them." She looked at Lacey. "But if you really love those people, is leavin' really the answer? Could ya live wit' yourself knowin' you never said goodbye?"
Raccoon knew she had regrets on not saying goodbye to certain people before she left her home, but she knew she couldn't stay there. It was up to Lacey to decide if she really wanted to leave.
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Post by Lacey on Jan 10, 2019 20:33:21 GMT -5
"Messed everythin' up? I dunno... but how can just one person mess the whole borough up?"
"By goin' ta another borough that the leader specifically told them not ta go to... and tryin' ta fix somethin' that they weren't involved in ta begin with. By accusin' the person they love of bein' a murderer when ya know that they'd never do that." She covered her face again. She felt terrible.
"I don't know about ruinin' things for people you care about. I mean, we all make mistakes don't we? Sooner or later we might make bad decisions that might harm others, I don't know about ruinin' them."
Mistakes didn't even seem to begin to cover what Lacey had made. She had accused Spot of something that she knew that he wouldn't be capable of because a stranger in Queens had told her so. She didn't know why she had done it, but she had been scared and stressed and it had all bubbled over. There was no way that she could get Spot to listen to her now. Not after she had disobeyed him again.
"But if you really love those people, is leavin' really the answer? Could ya live wit' yourself knowin' you never said goodbye?"
The tears came faster now as she thought more about it. Surely Spot would eventually notice that she was gone, but would it make things easier or harder to tell him that she was leaving beforehand? And where else would she go? She had no skills beyond being a newsie, but another borough would be way too close. "I-I don't wanna lose him but I'm scared that I will if I stay, too."
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Post by Raccoon on Jan 10, 2019 20:47:28 GMT -5
"By goin' ta another borough that the leader specifically told them not ta go to... and tryin' ta fix somethin' that they weren't involved in ta begin with. By accusin' the person they love of bein' a murderer when ya know that they'd never do that."
Raccoon had not expected to learn this much and certainly did not expect to hear something like, but still, she would do her best to help Lacey feel better. "Well... that's um a lot of stuff gone wrong, but I still don't think all that can mess up a borough. An' you were just tryin' ta help, right? Sometimes the best intentions can go wrong, but just lettin' 'em stay wrong ain't good either. You know you made a mistake. That's a good start, but what you gonna do about? Run away? Or face it? Either way will be hard... but which one do you think is the right one?"
She wasn't expecting Lacey to answer. It was just her giving her thoughts about what she knew of the situation.
"I-I don't wanna lose him but I'm scared that I will if I stay, too."
Raccoon wished she had a handkerchief to offer, but alas, she didn't have one. "If you really love him," she began slowly. "Do you think leavin' will really help him? Especially if he loves you back? Runnin' away without sayin' goodbye might hurt him more than talkin' ta him before ya leave."
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Post by Lacey on Jan 10, 2019 20:51:41 GMT -5
"Well... that's um a lot of stuff gone wrong, but I still don't think all that can mess up a borough."
Raccoon seemed to have a lot of faith in what a borough was able to withstand, but Lacey figured that neither one of them really knew at this point. Not enough time had passed yet.
"An' you were just tryin' ta help, right? Sometimes the best intentions can go wrong, but just lettin' 'em stay wrong ain't good either. You know you made a mistake. That's a good start, but what you gonna do about? Run away? Or face it? Either way will be hard... but which one do you think is the right one?"
Lacey blinked. Perhaps Raccoon had no clue what she was talking about, but she could have easily fooled Lacey into thinking that she did. But which would be the best choice?
"If you really love him, do you think leavin' will really help him? Especially if he loves you back? Runnin' away without sayin' goodbye might hurt him more than talkin' ta him before ya leave."
She swallowed thickly. This was the part where everything seemed to become more complicated. Did Spot love her back anymore? She knew that she loved him, and that more than likely wouldn't change for a long time, but did he love her? Or would he be happier if she left and nursed a broken heart alone somewhere? "I don't know if he loves me back anymore," She ran her fingers through her hair, gripping at the auburn locks, "I ruined the best thing in my life. How can I face him like this?"
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Post by Raccoon on Jan 10, 2019 20:56:37 GMT -5
"I don't know if he loves me back anymore."
"Well..." She pursed her lips thoughtfully. "That makes things a bit difficult, but do you know for sure? I mean," she shrugged. "If you don't know, that means part of you think he still does? A small chance is better than nothin', right?"
"I ruined the best thing in my life. How can I face him like this?"
Raccoon wasn't sure what to say, but she didn't like how Lacey was putting herself so down. Especially if she thought that was the best thing in her life... it wasn't right for her to lose that .
"It might be hard... but you might want to try to face him? I mean, you don't know for sure if he doesn't love you anymore? If you just leave, you'll never know if he still returns your feelings."
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Post by Lacey on Jan 10, 2019 21:03:58 GMT -5
"Well... That makes things a bit difficult, but do you know for sure?"
Lacey blinked. She had no clue. She just didn't want to be hopeful and then have those hopes dashed.
I mean, if you don't know, that means part of you think he still does? A small chance is better than nothin', right?"
"But is it worth havin' that small chance ripped away from me?" Lacey whispered in return.
"It might be hard... but you might want to try to face him? I mean, you don't know for sure if he doesn't love you anymore? If you just leave, you'll never know if he still returns your feelings."
She swallowed thickly. "I'm a coward." She had always thought it in the back of her mind, but this only seemed to prove it. She couldn't even be sure if she could face her own boyfriend again... if she could even call him that anymore.
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Post by Raccoon on Jan 10, 2019 21:10:12 GMT -5
"But is it worth havin' that small chance ripped away from me?"
Raccoon shrugged. "But is that better than never knowing?"
Both weren't very good choices... but wouldn't it be better to know than wonder about it for the rest of your life?
"I'm a coward."
"We are all cowards at one time or another," she admitted. There were times in her life where she had been cowardly. It was something that was just a part of human nature. "But if you really care about someone or something... you'll find the courage."
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Post by Lacey on Jan 10, 2019 21:12:56 GMT -5
"But is that better than never knowing?"
"Maybe." She whispered, wiping her eyes once again. "Maybe it is."
"We are all cowards at one time or another,"
Lacey bit her lip. In a sense it was true, but some were definitely worse than others.
"But if you really care about someone or something... you'll find the courage."
"I love him so much." Lacey chewed on her lip, forcing back the next flood of tears that threatened to fall. "I love him and I don't wanna lose him. But I'm so scared that he won't wanna talk ta me."
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Post by Raccoon on Jan 10, 2019 21:19:24 GMT -5
"Maybe. Maybe it is."
Raccoon just shrugged again. "You have ta look at things from a different angle before you make a final decision."
"I love him so much. I love him and I don't wanna lose him. But I'm so scared that he won't wanna talk ta me."
She could tell this person meant a lot to Lacey. It would be awful for them to split up... when Lacey loved him so much.
"If you don't quite have the courage ta talk ta him... why don't you write 'im a note?" she suggested. Raccoon really believed that Lacey should try to communicate with the guy she loved before considering leaving the borough.
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Post by Lacey on Jan 10, 2019 21:21:24 GMT -5
"You have ta look at things from a different angle before you make a final decision."
Lacey nodded a bit. She had always been more on the pessimistic side... this just seemed to be another case where it was bringing her down.
"If you don't quite have the courage ta talk ta him... why don't you write 'im a note?"
She cleared her throat. She hadn't done much writing in years, but she figured that she would be able to make it work. If not... maybe it was a sign that she just had to suck it up and talk to him face to face. "That... might be easiest. I could get one of my brothers ta drop it off..."
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