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Post by Lacey on Jan 10, 2019 21:41:00 GMT -5
It had taken Lacey a fair amount of time to write out the letter. She had written a good amount of drafts, much to Mrs. Harbour’s chagrin, but she had eventually decided that she had a letter that would make sense.
But she was nervous. She was so nervous. She had gathered what little things that she had and talked to her brothers, but all three had insisted that she had to give the note to Spot herself. So there she sat, letter in hand, just hoping that maybe he would come to the docks, and hopefully not turn and walk away the moment that he saw her.
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Post by Spot Conlon on Jan 10, 2019 21:49:53 GMT -5
Spot had taken Jack's advice and had stayed away from Lacey and kept her out of his thoughts for the most part. He had stayed in Brooklyn, just preparing for his eventual trip to Queens. He had clothes ready to disguise himself as well as a few weapons just in case things got rough. It was almost like the old days when he was a bird... somewhat nostalgic but also unwanted.
He had prepared himself to leave today for Queens, making Cloud oversee Brooklyn for a day or two, but before he left he wanted to look over the docks and make sure things where all right.
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Post by Lacey on Jan 10, 2019 21:52:53 GMT -5
When the sound of footsteps approaching the docks began ringing out, Lacey perked up a bit. There weren't many people who came to the docks during the wintertime, and even just the sound of his footsteps seemed familiar on the boards of the docks. However, she couldn't make herself move. What would she do? Or say? Would she just hand him the note and run away? Or was she supposed to just stand there awkwardly while he read it?
She wasn't given much time to decide before her feet slowly forced her forward, approaching the familiar face. "Spot?"
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Post by Spot Conlon on Jan 10, 2019 21:57:07 GMT -5
"Spot?"
He really hadn't been expecting to see Lacey, though he had to say it was kinda nice to see her. He didn't realize how much he'd miss her despite the pain she caused him.
"Lacey."
That was all they could really say to each other. Spot was still wary of her. Being accused of lying and killing weren't something that one could recover from over a short period of time.
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Post by Lacey on Jan 10, 2019 21:59:23 GMT -5
"Lacey."
She couldn't look him in the eyes, contemplating just shoving the piece of paper into her pocket and walking away from there. She could still disappear without saying a word to him... she didn't know if he'd miss her if she did.
Instead, however, she extended the small, folded piece of paper to him. "I'm sorry."
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Post by Spot Conlon on Jan 10, 2019 22:05:27 GMT -5
"I'm sorry."
Spot blinked in surprise. He really hadn't been expecting an apology or the little note that was being handed to him. "Um... what's this?"
He wasn't sure what she was doing. The apology seemed to be for their squabble at the bridge, but what was this note for?
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Post by Lacey on Jan 10, 2019 22:08:12 GMT -5
"Um... what's this?"
Lacey swallowed thickly. "You'd know if ya read it... that's what notes are for."
She couldn't just flat out say that she might be leaving Brooklyn. She couldn't flat out say that she had tried everything to have Rip take her instead of Spot. She couldn't find the courage.
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Post by Spot Conlon on Jan 10, 2019 22:11:21 GMT -5
"You'd know if ya read it... that's what notes are for."
Spot raised an eyebrow. He wasn't sure if that was sarcasm in her tone or just something she was hiding. "I know that... but why?"
Normally they just talked things out. Why did she feel she needed to use a note to communicate?
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Post by Lacey on Jan 10, 2019 22:15:16 GMT -5
"I know that... but why?"
She began gnawing harshly onto her bottom lip, gaze looking just about anywhere else but his face. "That's another thing that's in the note, y'know."
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Post by Spot Conlon on Jan 10, 2019 22:18:20 GMT -5
"That's another thing that's in the note, y'know."
Spot sighed. He didn't like this beating around the bush. He wanted a straight answer. "Lacey, I want to know from you not the note."
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Post by Lacey on Jan 10, 2019 22:21:53 GMT -5
"Lacey, I want to know from you not the note."
Lacey sighed in frustration. What was the point of stressing over the note if he wouldn't even read it? Now she was left panicking about what to say and how to say it. Maybe she shouldn't have told him anything to begin with. Maybe she should have just left without saying goodbye.
"I should go." She squeaked out a bit, moving to rush past him.
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Post by Spot Conlon on Jan 10, 2019 22:27:16 GMT -5
"I should go."
"Lacey!" he called out. Spot hadn't expected her to run off all the sudden and followed after her, stuffing the note in his pocket as he ran. It was in moments like these he wished he had more of Darcy's speed. "Lacey, wait!"
Why was she being like this?
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Post by Lacey on Jan 10, 2019 22:29:36 GMT -5
"Lacey!"
She was afraid to slow down. Lacey had thought that she could face him, Raccoon had built her up to make her feel as though she could be brave enough, but she wasn't. She was still a coward.
"Lacey, wait!"
Tears pricked at her eyes once again. She hated that she had been crying so much lately, but so much had happened. The thought of losing her home and the person that she loved, along with leaving her brothers... it hurt.
Slowing to a stop only as her lungs seemed to be freezing from the cold air, she didn't know what to say.
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Post by Spot Conlon on Jan 10, 2019 22:32:53 GMT -5
Spot was glad she stopped. She was a pretty fast runner... and this snow wasn't helping him.
"Lacey..." He panted heavily. After he became leader, he had stopped running around so much. It seemed like he needed to get back into that habit...
"Let's... let's talk. Don't... don't run."
He wanted to know what was wrong. Even if he was hurt and disappointed... he still cared. Jack was right about the staying away a couple of days would help him sort things out. He still cared for Lacey. He was just hurting.
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Post by Lacey on Jan 10, 2019 22:34:40 GMT -5
"Lacey..."
She cursed under her breath. Why couldn't she have run further?
"Let's... let's talk. Don't... don't run."
"Why can't ya just read the note?" She sniffled, wiping her nose and looking away from him. "I spent hours tryin' ta write it well. Mrs. Harbour even helped my penmanship so ya could remember me nicely..."
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Post by Spot Conlon on Jan 10, 2019 22:37:34 GMT -5
"Why can't ya just read the note?"
Spot would have huffed if he had the breath, but he didn't. "Why... can't you... answer a question?" he managed to retort.
"I spent hours tryin' ta write it well. Mrs. Harbour even helped my penmanship so ya could remember me nicely..."
Now that got his attention. He stared at her. "What do you mean 'remember me nicely'?"
He didn't like the sound of that. Not one bit.
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Post by Lacey on Jan 10, 2019 22:39:44 GMT -5
"Why... can't you... answer a question?"
Lacey scoffed. "Because the note answers the question."
"What do you mean 'remember me nicely'?"
She cursed again. Of course she had let something slip and now all of a sudden the note hardly mattered anymore. "I mean that I don't want ya ta hate me, Spot... I don't wanna kept draggin' ya down every time that I try ta help. But that's all in the note."
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Post by Spot Conlon on Jan 10, 2019 22:43:31 GMT -5
"Because the note answers the question."
Spot glared at her, but decided it was better not to argue with her over that question.
"I mean that I don't want ya ta hate me, Spot... I don't wanna kept draggin' ya down every time that I try ta help. But that's all in the note."
He frowned. "I don't hate you... but I don't see how that has anythin' to do with 'remembering' you." He grabbed her wrist. "You... you aren't planning on runnin' away are you?"
Spot had a suspicion. This was something he had felt with Darcy, but never had the chance to ask or stop her. She had dropped a hint sort of, but had run before he had gotten the chance to say anything. Lacey was someone very special to him... if she left, what would he do? Why did people he care about always leave him? Even Thunder and Jasper had to leave... no one ever stayed.
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Post by Lacey on Jan 10, 2019 22:47:52 GMT -5
"I don't hate you... but I don't see how that has anythin' to do with 'remembering' you."
The feeling of his grip on her wrist seemed to take her right back to that alleyway with Rip, staring up at him when he finally figured out who she was, the way that the sun seemed entirely blocked out with just how large and dark he was. She flinched a bit at the memory.
"You... you aren't planning on runnin' away are you?"
The tears fell again, the same ones that she had been trying to hold back. The words seemed caught in her throat, replying by slowly turning her gaze back to meet his, eyes teary and bloodshot. "I went ta Rip... I tried ta get him ta take me instead of hurtin' you. He said he didn't kill girls. I wanted you ta love me but I made ya hate me instead." It all seemed so stupid, but she was desperate. She had thought that she was losing Spot, and now... things were worse than before. All because she got involved.
"I'm sorry that I blamed you. I'm sorry I believed a stranger when I knew that you're not capable of killin' someone. I'm sorry that I've been the worst girlfriend. I just think... if I stay, I'll only make things worse for people."
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Post by Spot Conlon on Jan 10, 2019 22:54:00 GMT -5
"I went ta Rip... I tried ta get him ta take me instead of hurtin' you. He said he didn't kill girls. I wanted you ta love me but I made ya hate me instead."
Spot's eyes were filled with confusion and shock. He didn't understand... and he couldn't believe she did that. He didn't know whether to be angry or amazed at what she had done.
"I'm sorry that I blamed you. I'm sorry I believed a stranger when I knew that you're not capable of killin' someone. I'm sorry that I've been the worst girlfriend. I just think... if I stay, I'll only make things worse for people."
He hadn't noticed her flinching and gripped her a little tighter. "Leaving will be worse. At least... worse for me." He glared off at the distance. "Don't you get it? Everyone is always leavin'. They never stay in Brooklyn. First Thunder and Jasper... then Dragon... later Darcy." He looked back at her, hoping she understood his feelings. "Don't leave me too."
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Post by Lacey on Jan 10, 2019 22:56:43 GMT -5
"Leaving will be worse. At least... worse for me."
It didn't make much sense to Lacey, and the tightening grip on her wrist, while not painful, still wasn't really helping.
"Don't you get it? Everyone is always leavin'. They never stay in Brooklyn. First Thunder and Jasper... then Dragon... later Darcy. Don't leave me too."
She was a bit surprised that he seemed to care as much as he did, but at the same time... it felt wrong to stay if she was just going to keep making things worse for him.
"Spot, I'm gonna ruin you if I stay. I keep messin' things up. I'm gonna lose you and what'll I have then?" She whispered.
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Post by Spot Conlon on Jan 11, 2019 10:51:47 GMT -5
"Spot, I'm gonna ruin you if I stay."
Spot didn't understand what she meant by that. How was she ruining him? Yes, they had fought and argued about things, but that was a part of being in a relationship, wasn't it? That wasn't ruining him.
"You'll ruin me if you leave."
That made more sense to him. Every time someone left, he had built walls around himself. Hid his emotions became more Brooklyn focused. But Lacey, she had changed all that. He was almost back to his old self... if she left, well, it would be back to the way things were or worse.
" I keep messin' things up. I'm gonna lose you and what'll I have then?"
He really didn't understand. How was she losing him? Wouldn't leaving be losing him? Girls' minds were just way over his head. He let go of Lacey's wrist in frustration. He didn't want her to leave, but she seemed very set on leaving. How could he convince her to stay?
"You'll be losin' me by leavin'."
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Post by Lacey on Jan 11, 2019 10:55:08 GMT -5
"You'll ruin me if you leave."
The last thing that Lacey wanted was to hurt Spot. She had convinced herself that after the last fight, she had ruined things by breaking his trust in a way that he couldn't just come back from. She was afraid to try overcoming the problems but have them be too much for Spot and have him let her go. She wasn't ready to be alone again, as selfish as it sounded. "You'd be better off without me."
"You'll be losin' me by leavin'."
"I was gonna leave without sayin' somethin'... I just wanted for ya to be happy." She swallowed thickly. Maybe she should have left in the time in which Spot hadn't known. Maybe she should have pushed herself to keep running no matter how much it hurt.
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Post by Spot Conlon on Jan 11, 2019 11:04:27 GMT -5
"You'd be better off without me."
Spot stared at her, not sure if he could believe what she was saying. Better off without her? No, Lacey had changed his world. If she left... it would not be better.
"That's not true," he insisted. "Things might get shaky between us, but it ain't better if you left!"
"I was gonna leave without sayin' somethin'..."
So she had been planning on being just like Darcy, leaving without saying a word. At least she hadn't gone through with it. Something had gotten her to come and say something, and this was his chance to get her to stay.
"I just wanted for ya to be happy."
"An' you think leavin' will do that? You think leavin' will make me happy?"
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Post by Lacey on Jan 11, 2019 11:06:46 GMT -5
"That's not true. Things might get shaky between us, but it ain't better if you left!"
Lacey bit her lip, slowly moving a step or two closer to him. "Spot..."
"An' you think leavin' will do that? You think leavin' will make me happy?"
She closed her eyes tightly, "I just thought..."
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